I’m in a new monogamous sexual relationship. I heard you should get tested regularly for STIs, and I want us to but I’m worried my partner will be offended. How do I navigate this conversation?

AA: Thanks so much for sending in this question. It’s great that you’re wanting to be open and communicate with your partner your desire for the both of you to get tested for STIs (sexually transmitted infections). These conversations can bring up a lot and it’s great to think through in advance how you want to navigate given what you know of you and your partner.

LM: Communication is a really important part of any relationship, and having a conversation about STI testing can be a great way to normalize open and mutual communication in your relationship. You mentioned that this is a new relationship, too, and beginning to have these conversations early can create relational practices that support ongoing dialogue.

AA: The CDC recommends that sexually active individuals get tested between every three months to every year depending on your sexual activity and partners. More detailed testing recommendations can be found here. As we’ve mentioned in previous posts, the most common symptom of most STIs is actually no symptoms at all. Thus, getting tested in accordance with the recommendations is worthwhile even if you aren’t experiencing any symptoms.

LM: These could be some useful facts to bring up in your conversation with your partner. Since it’s recommended to get tested every so often, even if you don’t have symptoms, this can show your partner that your desire tcalo get STI tested may not stem from any particular concern about them, but rather that it’s a positive healthcare practice.

AA: It’s important to note that each relationship has its own communication style; only you can fully determine how to navigate conversations that might be loaded with your partner. That being said, there are some ways to engage in these conversations that others have found helpful. For instance, as LM mentioned, starting with the medical recommendations can be a low-threshold way to begin a conversation about STI testing with your partner. Generally people find that these conversations are more effective when they are framed using “I” language. The more each one of us can make our relational requests about our own needs rather than about the relationship itself, the more folks tend to be able to engage. When I think about a potential way to do that, it might look like: “I have decided to make STI tested a part of my preventive healthcare routine. I would like to have a conversation about whether this can become a practice in our relationship.”

LM: If you and your partner do decide to get STI tested, we at SL have previously written about getting STI tested at HUHS if you’re interested in finding out what the process looks like. Again, I want to emphasize how productive it can be to have conversations like these right off the bat. Like AA said, it can be helpful to communicate your own needs to your partner, and this can apply not just to STI testing but to the relationship as a whole.

AA:  I want to make sure that all Harvard students know that they can receive free STI testing at HUHS. You can schedule a STI test online via the HUHS patient portal, you don’t even need to call. First head the HUHS website and log into your patient portal. Once you are logged in fully, click on “appointments” and then “schedule an appointment.” When the next choices appear you’ll need to select Primary Care and choose the location option that corresponds to your PCP's name, then type in STI testing and complete the rest of the form. Appointment time options will pop up and you will be able to choose the time that is best for you.

If the clinician orders a test that requires a blood sample they will most likely send you to Quest Diagnostics which is in the basement of HUHS. Since Quest is a separate company, who does their own billing, it is important for you to remind them to bill HUHS for this blood sample. HUHS pays for all student STI testing, including any tests done through a blood draw. Sometimes, but rarely, there is a small margin of error as billing is done by humans. If a bill is sent to your insurance it will generally just say “lab test” and not the specific type of test. If this is still of concern to you we recommend that students call their insurance company (most phone numbers can be found on the back of your insurance card) and ask that their Explanation of Benefits (EOBs) be sent to their address on campus.

Amanda Ayers
Health Educator

LM
Student