Neither of us had a condom and it killed the night, what could we have done that would still have been safe?

AA: Thanks for the question! It can be frustrating if you both are wanting to have the type of sex that might involve safer sex supplies and y’all realize you don’t have any. However! This definitely does not have to kill the night--there are so many other fun options that you and your partner(s) could explore.

AG: If you are concerned about not having a condom because you’re trying to avoid pregnancy then some options include: oral sex, mutual masturbation, playing with sex toys, cuddling, intimate talking (which seriously can be really sexy!), kissing, massages, watching or reading ethically made erotica, or any other forms of outercourse! This list is certainly not exhaustive but can be fun places to start. They’re also just all great forms of foreplay or fun alternatives if you aren’t wanting to have the type of sex that would involve safer sex supplies.

AA: It is important to note that some fun-sexy-play-time activities may transmit STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections). A really great way to offset this is to regularly get tested for STIs if you are engaging in any form of sexual activity. You can check out the CDC recommendations for how often a person should get STI tested. STI testing is free for all students at HUHS.

AG: It is also important to maintain open and honest conversation with your sexual partner(s). This includes conversations about pleasure, health, wants, needs, non-negotiables, and shared responsibility for practicing safer sex.

AA: There are many places on campus that provide free external condoms. You can find a map of current locations here. There are also a few places on campus that also supply internal condoms, oral dams, non-latex condoms, and lube. These location are the Health Promotion Office on the 6th Floor of HUHS and the Harvard College Women’s Center in Canaday B.

AG: I think also sometimes in heterosexual relationships it’s easy to put the responsibility for external condoms on the man. However, in all relationships, when having equitable and safe sex, it might be worth negotiating shared responsibility regardless of gender identity.